Joshanen

The flower that I painted for you

Pale, in fire

Held in burgundy columns

Our royal limbs

Has a hidden joke

The flavor of our night

Arranging colors

In the dance of our 

Arrangements.

Array

Arrow

At rhythm

Rim

Rum

run

.

10.29.19

How?

The ultimate question
Jump
Thrive
Tether
But you must
try to answer
 ----
Never

Say never
ever
again.

For once,
suppose
a time.
----
The things you make me do

Insomnia
But not one that exhausted
you while it happens
But the one that bites you in the
ass
Either with afterglow euphoria
or with fogginess
and sour tears at work
Trying to focus
Trying to be productive
Then at the fist chance
Do it all over again.

6.18.19

Trampas oseas
quietas en la tierra
craneo sobre
intercalados nervios
Paciente arana
que escapa
sin quebrantar
sus delicadas alertas
escapo
y me detengo
en la vigilia del sol
a comparar mis largas patas
con sus contornos trepidantes
amenazas fragiles
el sol que muere
intercalado y
paciente
quieto sobre la tierra.

Ailan

Brushing my hair
Tying it into a bun
With his military jacket
Telling me:
I will give you a thousand
Spells
And you won’t even
Notice
First,
I release you
Of all complexes
And he gently
Shakes my head three times
Side to side
And I woke up
Free.

And the old way becomes the new way

Death
Prince of many faces
for so long I danced among
the corpses
silently in many valleys
of sand and
blue, pale yellow skies.
Oh! you, cursed fate
uncalled child
abruptly taken
from the arms of
mother dust
You, heiress of the hair
that covers
the pot
where thoughts have tried
to find you
in the light of night
thru the music
of sight
Strands that grow backwards
to earth
My hair
Black, my skin, fair
My eyes, blue.
Blue, the color of sadness
of dreams
Hope, pureness, heaven.
The color of my child
and the eyes of my child
Whose eyes are blueish
green
Grass, fertile
Not like the sterile rock
of my heart, of truth
My son, my heir
Blind.
With no head but a burning sun
Night, moon, sun.
Grass, stone.
Still stillness.
Sand!
A castle, a fortress.
Many flowers burning in crimson
irises
In years of flourishing
contained.
Still black blue.
Grass that goes back to the head
that is now hair
With the color of the sun.
And a futile frugality
of eternal weed
We're back to emptiness
how to carry to your peaceful
crib?
Oh! mother death.
Why are you crying?
Why are you so singing nonstop
the song that can't make yourself sleep?
You've given honor to many
You, incarnated justice of
manhood.
You, purpose of the purposeless.
I wish to rest in your arms.
And perhaps make you rest.
I punished us both.
Going towards you
following a light
then coming back and keep on
dying.
Not knowing the mystery
that you vested in my arms.
My little child.
My child with the blue green eyes
Where such chaos of many questions
to our mutual silence
rendered the cry
of a perpetual chant
of many angels
and goddesses
and heroes, live and death.
Why, is it you my child
that I can hold forever
and such a mystery is no more?
Is so simple. Life is fragile.
Life is meaningless without a mother
that gives and takes.
Never away, my love.
Together, forever.
Know that death is eternal.
That is the burden that God
hide in our hearts to find thee.
Thru death seeds, thoughts
break rock,
and still...
How can I hold you?
How can I keep you from crying?
How can I feed you my dear?
If I am darkness,
the child of night
How can I stop seeing so you can sleep?
I sing, I paint with my words
With my voice and my flavor
I lick your broken burning
skin
I brush your golden hair
With my hands of air
I even cold down your fever
with my pale, marvel skin
And still my baby
you're looking at me in despair
thirsty:
"Mommy
I am dying."
And I revel!
I know God did not make you to die
I must go on.
I must thrive thru my ignorance
to save you.
Finding secrets buried around the world
asking the spirits of hell and heaven
and melting in the earth
I give myself to you my boy.
My blood, color you created
My skin,
My soul
My mysteries
All of it so you exist.
Then daylight breaks
in all the colors of our
lineage
And your father, Storm
furious, seeing mother and child
decapitated
in an empty world
creates
what now is called
washed away
start over
and the moon falls tiny
many many babies
clear and pure
my hands
over rock
my heart, your father's love
sprouting fast
in green
your eyes
and blue all around
My love: is us together
The Sea.