Guide dog

Mom!
Who is that man?
Why is he looking at you like that?
Why isn't he smiling?
Why can't I see him
wanting to be my daddy?
Why are you so big?
Why is your heart so calm?
Are we in danger?
Why did we stopped?
Wait! Are we going faster?
Why can't anybody see me?
Why can't I hear myself?
Am I real?
What does real mean?
Why doesn't anyone have eyes
or words
anymore?
Are we dead?
Are we sleeping?
What is a dream?
Why?

Mom?
Why don't you care?
I'm hungry
I'm bored
I'm tired
I'm happy, sometimes
I have so much to say
I want to play with you
but then I'm sad
cuz you are sad
and your eyes aren't
shinning no more
You are looking away from
me...
Mom! I just want you
for myself
You're special to me
You look pretty, the
prettiest.
Even prettier than that
woman in the magazine
in the bathroom
Mom, yes, mom.
I'm you, from before
Forgive me if I'm loud
and rude
I think I'm a boy.
I'm excited about that.
My name is old
I'm sure you'll remember
Hush... I have to leave.

Naive-Dad

First day in the South. In the North. Way up the past becomes unreachable. Rare. Past repeating. Improving time. Making me unbearable. An affirmation in the morning: "I won't eat from the pantry at work. I don't need to get snacks from coworkers. My food from home is enough. I don’t need any junk food. - End the day mantra: rational portions & balanced nutrition fill me up. I don’t need to overeat at bedtime. I don’t need to starve for self inflicted goals, torturing myself. I will stop harming my health and emotions. I will work hard to become a better woman. A better human.

...

Did it. Wasn’t easy.Wasn’t the end. Nightmare. Started. The hardest. Day one. No oatmeal. No illicit chocolate. Leading to a day with no chocolate at all. Stopped counting the days. Without smoke.  Not an issue. Now. Food well. Need to regain control at bedtime. Encounter with emptiness. Got to fill it with something else. Maybe keep this journal. With typos and all. Think at lunchtime. Instead of driving home. Write a story. Polish a poem. Who knows. Blocked access to my website. To protect my son. Against content. I am his mother. Disturbed.

.....

po
et
ry

I need a break. And I need more. And I’m getting older. But I’m getting to know me better. And then ill forget to learn. And forget what forget means.
And what means to question. And a word and things. And names. Faces. Everything. And death will render me dead.
...

Help:
I think
I am
thinking
thanking
tanking
tinning
tanning
toning
turning
tenant
teen-
ing
I-
n-
g.
...

form
farm
ferment
firm
fume
famine
femme
fate
fat-
all.
xxx

lend me
your marrow
salty juice
tall
gooey
laughable
vital
still
thick
brief
sticky
slippery
dripping
drop
straw
chalk
breaking
lip
arrogance
desperate
stopping
quitting
moving
stall
forever
in
my
belly
marrow
...
riddle ride- Lee
cat: I, the middle
the caw?
Jump!
 over
the moon too.
Moo-
There
Mo-
-ther
meow
me
Oh!
Me…

07.24.2017

Ya se lo que se siente
comer una manzana
y lo que viene despues
un refunfuño de tripas
un bumerang
de acidos y culpa
una cena mortificante
vomito irremediable
y un alivio
breve
y el necesario juramento
de no volverla a comer.

La Trenza

Seatbelt

Entre mi pecho y costado
resistencia sin alma



Prolongo el instante
transversal
que contiene mi cuerpo

07.12.17

Liquid day
over pale tamed eyes
growling heart
tied with annoying air


figure sinking

tiny comet
trackless rendition
the art of deception

06.15.17

Common feather

common father

wishful blindness

inside eye

roughing softness

slimming thought

growing blood

silent drop

resemblance

absent breath

distance

               blue

then green

awakening

going nowhere

stalling on a rapid

beat

stillborn secret

common birth

common fingers

common hands

beams surprising

common heirs

05.24.2017

Sandy eyelids pleasant blindness

heavy blinks caught from afar.

Almond claps jump out his stomach

hit my head kissing the floor

Hatching body rolling almond

smiling blacking out with him.

Shameful elipsis

You have mail
Fed-ex white envelope
wrapped to perfection
deft, blunt... minor struck

The joke escalates
A new sprouting envelope
brighter from within
sealed to perfection
...wished that was the end

...but wait! I teared apart
in rapture
another surprise

a brown, baby envelope
thick,
shinny,
edgy,
small

I go delicate this time
a gift card
for $25

~Starbucks~

I guess I've lost my star...

03.22.2017

Blank long burial
halfway bed

It's time to get ready
I'm already late

I came to hell
to find you
     black black dress

thick clouds of demons
slow dripping steps

sucking on my fingers
making love and fooling
             me

Blank long burial
halfway bed

It's time to get ready
I'm already late.

3.8.2017

Al expirar, el nombre y sus creaciones se esfumaron al instante con el cuerpo sin fermento.

El alma evaporada de sus hijos invisibles iniciaron irrefutables generaciones y sus nuevos frutos, la dimensión de su efímera importancia intrínsecamente envestida.

La muerte exonerada de su reputación y flagelo restituyo el olvido a su trono inexistente.

QEPD La mística justicia, oculta e imposible.