10.29.19

How?

The ultimate question
Jump
Thrive
Tether
But you must
try to answer
 ----
Never

Say never
ever
again.

For once,
suppose
a time.
----
The things you make me do

Insomnia
But not one that exhausted
you while it happens
But the one that bites you in the
ass
Either with afterglow euphoria
or with fogginess
and sour tears at work
Trying to focus
Trying to be productive
Then at the fist chance
Do it all over again.

6.18.19

Trampas oseas
quietas en la tierra
craneo sobre
intercalados nervios
Paciente arana
que escapa
sin quebrantar
sus delicadas alertas
escapo
y me detengo
en la vigilia del sol
a comparar mis largas patas
con sus contornos trepidantes
amenazas fragiles
el sol que muere
intercalado y
paciente
quieto sobre la tierra.

Ailan

Brushing my hair
Tying it into a bun
With his military jacket
Telling me:
I will give you a thousand
Spells
And you won’t even
Notice
First,
I release you
Of all complexes
And he gently
Shakes my head three times
Side to side
And I woke up
Free.

And the old way becomes the new way

Death
Prince of many faces
for so long I danced among
the corpses
silently in many valleys
of sand and
blue, pale yellow skies.
Oh! you, cursed fate
uncalled child
abruptly taken
from the arms of
mother dust
You, heiress of the hair
that covers
the pot
where thoughts have tried
to find you
in the light of night
thru the music
of sight
Strands that grow backwards
to earth
My hair
Black, my skin, fair
My eyes, blue.
Blue, the color of sadness
of dreams
Hope, pureness, heaven.
The color of my child
and the eyes of my child
Whose eyes are blueish
green
Grass, fertile
Not like the sterile rock
of my heart, of truth
My son, my heir
Blind.
With no head but a burning sun
Night, moon, sun.
Grass, stone.
Still stillness.
Sand!
A castle, a fortress.
Many flowers burning in crimson
irises
In years of flourishing
contained.
Still black blue.
Grass that goes back to the head
that is now hair
With the color of the sun.
And a futile frugality
of eternal weed
We're back to emptiness
how to carry to your peaceful
crib?
Oh! mother death.
Why are you crying?
Why are you so singing nonstop
the song that can't make yourself sleep?
You've given honor to many
You, incarnated justice of
manhood.
You, purpose of the purposeless.
I wish to rest in your arms.
And perhaps make you rest.
I punished us both.
Going towards you
following a light
then coming back and keep on
dying.
Not knowing the mystery
that you vested in my arms.
My little child.
My child with the blue green eyes
Where such chaos of many questions
to our mutual silence
rendered the cry
of a perpetual chant
of many angels
and goddesses
and heroes, live and death.
Why, is it you my child
that I can hold forever
and such a mystery is no more?
Is so simple. Life is fragile.
Life is meaningless without a mother
that gives and takes.
Never away, my love.
Together, forever.
Know that death is eternal.
That is the burden that God
hide in our hearts to find thee.
Thru death seeds, thoughts
break rock,
and still...
How can I hold you?
How can I keep you from crying?
How can I feed you my dear?
If I am darkness,
the child of night
How can I stop seeing so you can sleep?
I sing, I paint with my words
With my voice and my flavor
I lick your broken burning
skin
I brush your golden hair
With my hands of air
I even cold down your fever
with my pale, marvel skin
And still my baby
you're looking at me in despair
thirsty:
"Mommy
I am dying."
And I revel!
I know God did not make you to die
I must go on.
I must thrive thru my ignorance
to save you.
Finding secrets buried around the world
asking the spirits of hell and heaven
and melting in the earth
I give myself to you my boy.
My blood, color you created
My skin,
My soul
My mysteries
All of it so you exist.
Then daylight breaks
in all the colors of our
lineage
And your father, Storm
furious, seeing mother and child
decapitated
in an empty world
creates
what now is called
washed away
start over
and the moon falls tiny
many many babies
clear and pure
my hands
over rock
my heart, your father's love
sprouting fast
in green
your eyes
and blue all around
My love: is us together
The Sea.

Constant indentation
exuberant glare
expectancy
endocrine gasp
fertility wasted
kisses lost
 breathe

Mental/fuck

itwas an accident
Everything was.
Love. The forbidden word
Malevolent conception
Sinful and wrong
Like throbbing with the
Devils idea
In a childish mind
With fear and morb
And a sexual drive
Some pleasant gratification
In the hidden ritual
Of derailed thoughts
Wetting the bed
At night
On purpose
Or touching the shy sex
Then feel guilty
Then then automatic commitment
Of self forgiveness
Interestingly, god takes no part
On this avenue.
But there’s this self righteous promise
Driving the world
To be better by erasing the past
That’s that accuses us
 But every now and then
The same finger that raises u
To bliss
Will cut our will like a fresh carrot
Crisp and
Impossible
And the pleasure
The owners of
That very tap
Snaps in our ear
The beat of
Power.

Hall-ey smouk

Run
In this hatred bloatness
wait...
perhaps it'll be
different next
time
but REMEMBER
are you falling,
failing
yearning
well known
learned facts
True.
OK
Not fancy, just
me, my kicks
and a little faith
hit the road
Go
Good, not the usual track
there's this
grumpy old troll
veteran hobbo
at the bridge
he seems harmless
but gets hostile at times:
-hey, sweetheart, ho'ya doin' today uh?
-you can say hi u know? I don't bite!
(yeah, but perhaps I do)
So keep going
the water is not as still as last time
when you can see the swans'
reflection as in fresh cleaned
crystal
but still nice, breezy
without the burning sun
the heavy air
just nice
till it got dark
and darker
till it was completely black and
a thin layer of
bluish green
but I rather deal with darkness
where there is still certain control
at a 90 degree temperature and bright light
I can only believe I manage the mind
but I can still faint
get dehidrated
But at pure darkness, I fight
the notion of being dreaming
"keep your eyes open you fool B*"
So I do, then get a bug in my left eye
I rub it but only make it worse
I got sweat, and a bug, and some dirt
still got quite a distance and it's getting darker
and there is no public restroom or water fountain
nearby
keep the heck going...
I got to the bridge, beautiful
for a moment the circket, frog, who knows what
 song loses its charm and becomes
a little annoying,
then the smell of something burning
is someone smoking? perhaps a bonefire
no... it smells like skunk piss
mmm... well, I think that is weed
yes, definitely weed.
And it's getting stronger
maybe this is the kick I needed to get this done
these people must be having fun, it doesn't stop
till I see some shadows
and a scream: holly f*!!! (laughter)
man! you scared the shit out of me...
Thank you! he needed this...(laughter continues).
Then I keep going and thought:
Don't worry, I won't tell...
me? A narc? O sure... here is my batch (pointing at crotch)
Where am I from? oh... no, no. TMI. We know too much already.
Me being an undercover officer of the law and you...
showing your pee -pees to your friends in the woods
while smoking your old man's special batch?
If Montecristo would've smoked these,
he'd prolly wouldn't be such a C*nt! LOL
Nine nite!
Keep going, home is closer now.
It is dark, but the street lights are decent, familiar.
Once home, I feel my appendix about to burst
But I won't say anything.
As for me, I would love to spend Thanksgiving in NYC.

Peace... xoxo